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[gee]

Cerita Lawak : Kura-kura ******...., sangap betul


"ada suatu hari, ada 3 ekor kekura (kura kura) nak gi bekelah bersama sama.

Kekura pertama membawa makanan, Kekura kedua membawa minuman, sedangkan kekura ketiga tidak membawa apa-apa pun selamber jek lenggang perut.

Didalam perjalanan tiba-tiba ujan pun turun dengan lebat dan derasnya, sehingga mereka tak boleh meneruskan perjalanan.
Kemudian timbul perbualan di antara mereka.

Kekura I : "ERmmm..... salah sekor dari kita mesti balik untuk amik
payung. Siapa yang nak pegi ni?"

Kekura II dan I saling pandang memandang, dan sepakat menuding Kekura III.

Kekura III : "Tak nak ahhh. Aku jalan lambat dan nanti aku nak sampai sini lagilah terlambat. Sure nkorang akan bedal
mengkanan ni semua."

Kekura I & II : "Takk lah. Kita orang tunggu sampai nko datang."

Kekura III : "Betul??? Kalau aku lambat 1 jam?"

Kekura I & II : "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "Kalau 3 jam ??"

Kekura I & II "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "Kalau 1 hari ?? "

Kekura I & II : "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "3 hari "

Kekura I & II :"Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "5 hari? "

Kekura I & II : "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "1 minggu? "

Kura I & II : ""Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."

Kekura III : "2 minggu?"

Kekura I & II : ""Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
!!!!!!! nko pegi jek lah"

Dengan berat hati, akhirnya Kekura III pun
berangkat. Kekura I & II menunggu dengan setia. Sehari, dua hari dan
seminggu telah berlalu. Kekura III tak jugak balik balik. Setelah dua
minggu berlalu, Kekura I & II sudah tidak dapat menahan lapar.

Kekura I : "Aku dah tak tahan lapar ni . Kita makan jek lah "

Kekura II : "Aku pun dah nak pensan ni. Jom ahh kiter perabih
mengkanan ni"

Tiba-tiba Kekura III muncul dari semak-semak dan berseru " Hoii
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nasib baik aku belom pegi lagi... kalau
tak sure nkorang abiskan mengkanan ni kan kan?!!!!!!!!"

--------------------------

p/s menunjukkan.. betapa dia tak percaya kat kawan2 dia..
hehehehe

[gee]

HAJAT SI ISTERI

Wati pergi ke sungai untuk membasuh
pakaian. Sebaik tiba, terlihat olehnya
seekor ikan yang menggelepar di atas
batu. Wati menghampirinya. Tiba-tiba
ikan itu bersuara, "Kalau puan
menolong aku, puan akan mendapat apa
yang dihajati. Tetapi hanya tiga
permintaan sahaja yang dapat
dimakbulkan . Tiap kali permintaan
dikabu lkan, suami puan akan mendapat
10 kali ganda.

Wati: Baiklah, saya mahu kelihatan
cantik.

Ikan: Tetapi suami puan menjadi lelaki
paling tampan di dunia ini.

Wati: Tiada masalah. Lalu Wati menjadi
wanita yang paling cantik di kampung
itu.
& lt;BR>Permintaan kedua ialah Wati ingin
menjadi kaya.

Ikan: Ingat! suami puan 10 kali lebih
kaya.
Wa ti: Tidak mengapa. Wang miliknya
akan menjadi milik aku juga. Maka
jadilah Wati wanita kaya dengan gelang
memenuhi tangan.

"Permintaan ketiga?" Tanya ikan.

"Aku nak serangan jantung yang
ringan," jawab Wati.

[dina]

kehkehkeh...

[caluk]

Terompah kih kih

[soul]

keskeskes ...

[fadxiora]

lawak lawak

[gee]

 

[dina]

kui kui kui...

[caluk]

soul pergi jumaat pakai terompah tu lah ha ha

[cokek]

tapi dia pakai sorang sorang je.. jenuh dia nak seret

[dina]

lawak DUN-pilihanraya 2008

DUN yg paling sejuk, DUN Batu Berendam
   DUN yg paling tak de rasa, DUN Air Tawar
   DUN yg paling panas, DUN Pedas
   DUN yg paling miskin, DUN Sekupang
   DUN yg paling muda, DUN Sri Muda
   DUN yg paling lemah, DUN Batang Berjuntai
   DUN yg paling basah, DUN Sg Besar
   DUN yg kuat makan satay, DUN Kajang
   DUN yg banyak hantu, DUN Pucong
   DUN yg ada istana, DUN Kota Raja.
   DUN yg banyak ikan, DUN Tg Sepat
   DUN yg paling keras, DUN Batu Tiga
   DUN paling pendalaman, DUN Hulu Klang
   DUN banyak air, DUN Ampangan
   DUN banyak pengganas, DUN Kuala Kubu
   DUN paling takde kemajuan, DUN Gurun
   DUN paling bahaya, DUN Baling
   DUN banyak semut,  DUN Kota Sarang Semut.
   DUN paling pelik,  DUN Sg Ada Burung.
   DUN ada binatang, DUN Kijang
   DUN paling wangi, DUN Pokok Sena
   DUN paling tak cantik, DUN Batu Buruk
   DUN paling garang, DUN Senggarang
   DUN paling banyak berahsia, DUN Tell Anybody kehkehkeh..

[dina]

Touching story

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make RM.100 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow R M.50?"
The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little
boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to
think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
RM.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to
the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the
man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the R M..50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He
yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry
again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father
grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have RM..100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that RM.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
Replace us in a matter of days. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than to our family.

[caluk]

so apa lagi gi lah balik rumah

[caluk]

Di suatu pagi yg menyinar..di warung kopi,terdapat seorang penduduk org asli yg ingin minum pagi di warung tersebut. apabila tuan warung ingin mengambil order..bertanyalah org asli ini.."berapa harga teh panas dan berapa pula harga teh sejuk"...jawab tuan warung.."teh panas RM0.70 ,teh sejuk RM 1.20..."..maka org asli tersebut meminta teh panas..

apabila teh panas telah sampai..cepat2 org asli tersebut meminumnya sampai habis....pelik tuan warung melihatnya....lalu beliau bertanya.."kenapa kamu minum terlalu cepat..tak rase panas ke..??"

jawab si org asli tersebut.."emm..mestilah kene minum cepat teh panas ni, kalau minum lambat nanti jadi teh sejuk, kene plak bayar Rm1.20..saya ada Rm 0.70 je.."..tuan warung pun tersengih...

[dina]

kehkehkeh... lawaks